November 23, 2013 § Leave a Comment
He referred to style as some visual Esperanto.
“Lo!”, he exclaimed. “Cross-cultural negotiation can, nay must be conducted via hat and scarf and sock. Only one thousand people may be native to style globally. Its codes are understood by many, but spoken fluently by few.”
I replied: “Style, like Esperanto? Easy to learn, sir? Nay! Free from politics? Pah! Auxiliary? Hardly.”
His pseudo-cosmopolitanism was dripping all over my millefeuille. So I took his “visual Esperanto” and raised him one:
“Style is demiurgic manuscript”.
And then all that was left was the hollow thwang of increasingly complex analogies and the foreboding doom of Malapropisms.
November 22, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Think you’re pretty clever coming up with the phrase: “The medium is the message, the lens is the microphone”.
That’s the stuff thesis titles are made of. Good job. Have a millefeuille. Sip some green tea. Take the rest of the day off.
Then you realise “lens” is already kind of a metaphor…an eye-based metaphor… you’re not even adhering to the same sensory framework.
Or maybe it’s not a metaphor. Maybe it’s an image. ?!… ?
You Google the word “lens”.
Yep, definitely a metaphor ..
But maybe if the medium is the MASSAGE, then having a lens be a microphone isn’t so bad? Sip some green tea. Take the rest of the day off.
November 12, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Wake up thinking I’m Frida Khalo.
Paint myself. Don’t have paints or a canvas, so use lipstick and foundation and my actual face.
Repeat the phrase “I was born a bitch. I was born a painter.”
Put flowers on my head. Consider eating Mexican food. Feel repulsed by my own lack of cultural depth. Still, crave tacos.
Why is Orientalism so often wrapped up in attitudes to food? Mmmm… Orientalism. Now can’t stop thinking about fried rice.
Stare at myself in the mirror. Try very hard to grow a monobrow.
Feel a little lonely. Wander around my kitchen.
Identity crisis. My culture bone is broken, just like Frida’s ribs, pelvis, spinal cord.
Suddenly remember why I do LIBERAL arts. Thesis paper identified: “Paints, Floral Arrangements, Monobrows: Situating Frida Khalo within a contemporary culturo-feminist matrix, with extra notes on globalization and international cuisine
November 8, 2013 § Leave a Comment
An hour into the lesson:
Trying to decide what happens to imperfect Hermès bags.
Much discussion around industry environmental regulations. Burning is not a legal option.
Leave class with a feeling that there exists some “Mecca of Hermès”, some nirvanic evolution of Chernobyl, wherein vast buildings shiver, filled to explosion capacity with pock-marked crocodile skins and saddle weaves with slightly flawed structural tension. Nuclear waste.
One day the Chinese will discover this mecca and unleash factory second Birkins into a hungry market, destabilising the very foundations of the French luxury industry with oversupply and flawed produce. Terrorism.
Screw the environment. Burn the bags. Stay ahead of the Chinese.
Geopolitics. Serious shit, via Hermès.
November 5, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Typical Arts student. Fingers in every pie.
Then you decide you want a sandwich.
No dear, you gave up bread and butter when you reached for the apple pastry and whipped cream.
And then you realized whole wheat was more dependable than millefeuille.
And then your millefeuille flaked all over your pencil skirt.
And then you were like “WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE AND MY PENCIL SKIRT AND MY MILLEFEUILLE?”
Millefeuille isn’t even a type of pie.
Typical Arts student.